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Searching for Love in All The Wrong Places

Scripture Readings: 
1 John 4: 16-
We have come to know [by personal observation and experience], and have believed [with deep, consistent faith] the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love, abides in God, and God abides continually in him. (I love the amplified version when I am studying because it helps me really see and understand some of the hidden meaning of the words that might get lost in translation.)

Exodus 20: 2-3- I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me. 

Psalm 103: 2, 4- Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits… who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy.

My personal experience with God has stretched over years at this point. The marvelous thing is that it never gets old and He guides our relationship deeper and deeper from one experience to another as I place my trust in Him more with each passing year and phase of life. When I was younger, I thought a person would fulfill my need for love. As a child it was my dad, as a young woman, my husband. These two men are such great influences on my life and I am grateful God gave them to me; but as I live and learn, I realize the God shaped vacuum in my heart is too big for them to fill and too powerful for me to ignore the real Father and lover of my soul who desires to fill that space. 

I also think that our society throws the word “love” around all too casually. We can talk about loving chocolate and family in the same breath. One way that I see love exercised is with trust. Can we trust that thing we love to bring us joy, happiness, restoration, life? Is that thing or person trustworthy? Putting too much value on anything outside of God cannot fill that place of longing in our hearts. For a while, I think I even tried looking for love from my career. Thinking it made me more of a person, more worthy or worthwhile somehow. As a nurse I gained a lot of my sense of worth from helping people. I thought I was in the right place. Turns out I was wrong. 

God relocated my husband and me here to Virginia just over a year ago. The uprooting I felt made me again realize I was searching in wrong places. Out of a sense of longing for a grandchild we answered the call to help in Kidspoint. How blessed we have been to be preparing to be grandparents while loving the kids here in our new community! Even being a grandparent will not fulfill our deep need for love.

I feel a little like Dorothy in Oz. I am not in Kansas, never was. But I always had the power to return home, if that return was to God. He empowers me every day to seek Him first, put Him first and to trust Him in all things. I can try to search my own way and get lost in the process. Or, I can trust Him to draw me to His perfect love and plan for my life. 

Prayer:
Father God, you are love. You set me free from a life of slavery. I am so grateful for the people and places you have put in my life that point the way to you. I am thankful for your equipping me to touch peoples’ lives in my career and family. Help me to always abide in you and lean on you and your ways for understanding. Let me not get distracted by the good things you give to me as benefits. Help me to always put you first. Amen.