How do you relieve a bruise after running into a corner? Aside from what words might escape your lips, typically the next thought is to apply ice to reduce swelling. Trauma produces inflammation and if you control inflammation, you control the degree of damage. Following that train of thought, how do you nurse a wounded, inflamed heart? The Lord Jesus tells us to apply forgiveness.
Forgiveness is often more than a "one and done" kind of decision. It is a willful choice, often repeated, to not pay back the pain someone has caused you. After that initial choice to forgive, trusting God to deal with your offender, how do you stop the residual anger and bitterness from engulfing your heart?
We find a solution in the parable of the unforgiving servant.
Jesus said, "Then the master of that servant had compassion, released him, and forgave him the loan." (Matthew 18:27)
The man’s heart was moved with compassion before he released his debtor.
In scripture “compassion” is used to describe Jesus' heart before many of his miracles. Jesus experienced compassion before healing, teaching, feeding, and forgiving people, including those who were happy to torture him. In each instance, Jesus experienced compassion before releasing God’s mercy.
By placing your faith in Christ, you too are a recipient of his miraculous compassion and mercy!
So you have something in common with the one who has sinned against you: the propensity to sin and the need for forgiveness. Relating in this way is not only humbling, but it empowers you to apply Christ's compassion to your perpetrator and quench the fire of unforgiveness. From this awareness you “forgive your brother from your heart.” (Luke 18:35) This does not imply restoration or trust. Prayerfully seek the Lord’s will in moving forward.
Guidance to Forgiving from Your Heart:
1. "Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth." (Colossians 3:2) First, recognize the miracle of Christ's compassion specifically to you through His saving power.
2. "Therefore, put to death... put away all the following: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and filthy
language from your mouth." (Col. 3:5, 8) Repent and ask God to transform you. Depend on Him
to lead you in His ways.
3. "Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion,
kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one
another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive." (Col. 3:12-13) As a follower of Christ choose to live out your new identity – his character and compassion. Putting to death old ways of dealing with pain is not easy, but scripture says you are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). If you are willing, there is grace to completely forgive like Jesus. You have the power to release others to God and your wounded heart from the inflammation of sin.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank You for forgiving me. You are so merciful and compassionate! I put away (anger, malice, bitterness...) and put on Christ’s nature. I choose to forgive this person and release them to You. Thank You for Your grace. It is in Jesus’ name I pray, amen.